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How To Get Psyched For A Date


10 ways—from mint to music—to get your mood revved and your mojo working for a big night out.

By Barrie Dolnick

t’s been a marathon day, you’re wiped out, draggy and more than a little crabby. All you want is a big bowl of mac ‘n cheese and your couch, but, no, you have a date! How can you transform your lint-ball energy into social sparkle? Allow me to help: As the author of the best-seller Simple Spells for Love and 11 other books on love, success and happiness, I’ve got 10 easy moves for you—no double-espresso’s required.

Freeze up.
Mint is a stimulant, not to mention a nice way to remove the remnants of your afternoon coffee and Doritos. You can’t help but wake up once you have a
It’s all about the mint—the stronger, the better.
mouthful of freshness and be prepared for the opportunity to be kissed. If you’re stuck at work, keep some mouthwash in your desk or strong mints handy. It’s all about the mint, the stronger the better.

Drown your blahs
…in the shower with shampoo, that is. Laura, 29, from West Haven, Connecticut, swears by it. “If I get home before a date and I’m dead on my feet, I’m going to wash my hair. It’s the only way I can make it out the door.” Not only do you feel better, you look better. Water cleanses away more than your disheveled look, it also stimulates your scalp and helps you clear your head. If you can’t wash your hair, wash your face. Seriously, it’s a cosmic restart if you can clean off the residue of the day and be fresh for another adventure.

Detox by fire.
Clear your energy of the day’s toxins with a candle (yes, a candle). Light one, and imagine the flame burning off the tightness of your day. Watch the argument you had with your boss go down the drain. Say goodbye to the tense talk you had with your mother. Adios, traffic rage. Fire is purifying; if you can sit for a few minutes and let the stress burn off, you’ll feel fresher for it and free to enjoy the night ahead.

Rock the planet.
Even if you’re listening to your iPod, crank up the volume and move your butt. And no, it doesn’t work with Neil Young’s Harvest Moon. Find some real dance music and raise your energy. Chanting, drumming and music are age-old tools to raise energy and magic. You can get a good buzz going just from moving to a great song or two.

The scent of success.
Why throw on your same old scent when you can do something healing and uplifting? Try an essential oil or eau de parfum with lavender—it opens your heart even when you’re channeling the Wicked Witch of the West. Vanilla-scented cologne or aftershave can make you seem welcoming even if you feel like slamming the door in someone’s face. Keep a couple of fragrances in your desk at work. It’s amazing how a little spritz can keep your love life out of the obits.

Split your personality
—be your own advisor. If your friend calls you and whines about being tired and not wanting to go out, what would you say? Probably just get out there and go for it. That’s what a friend is for.
Get some fresh air—literally—before meeting your date.
If you want to call a friend for a pep talk, feel free to do so. But you already know what you need to hear, so tell yourself those things when your little inner voice is saying, “Can’t I just stay home tonight?” Tell yourself things like, “Calm down; it’s just a date.” “You hate it when someone cancels on you.” “It’ll be good for you.” Saying those things aloud (if you’re in private somewhere, that is) will magnify the effect.

Think of it as a game of Lotto.
Remind yourself that every single time you put yourself out there, you could be on your way to meeting The One. Says Jennie from New York: “I really didn't want to go on a date recently. I was sure I was going to be stood up or would have no fun... but it was great! We had a ball and have seen each other since.” Even if you’re dragging, dreading, and dreary, you just never know. Romance loves the element of surprise—so don’t miss a chance to be wowed.

Wish on a star.
Get some fresh air—literally—before meeting your date. Julia from Los Angeles says she rebalances by getting outside after sunset. “There’s something about the night sky—it’s beautiful, mysterious and full of promise, if you just give yourself a minute to really look at it,” she says, “I can almost plug into romantic energy.” And so can you.

Dress the part.
Feel as if you need to reset yourself? Change your clothes—feeling new textures against your skin, choosing what colors to wear—all of this will wake up your senses and help you be more open to a new part of your day. If you’re at work and you can’t pull a Clark Kent-to-Superman transition, change your accessories, your shoes, or your tie. Just change one thing on your body and you’re already shaking off the muck that sapped your energy today. Bonus points: Try this trick from Marcia of Shaker Heights, OH. “I rev myself up by wearing something a little flashy or unexpected—gold sandals with nice jeans and a top, maybe—because it somehow sends me the message that I’m dressed up for a date and makes me feel flirtier, chattier, more girly in general.”

Psych yourself way up.
Here’s a visualization trick to try when you’re flopped on the couch at home pre-date: Close your eyes, see yourself on this date as sparkling, attractive, witty, sexy, winning—you get the drift. Once you get the image you want in your head, of you at your very best, surround it with a soft light in your mind's eye. See yourself glowing with excitement and happiness. Now, breathe this image into your heart. (Translation: Inhale deeply while visualizing this irresistible version of you being absorbed into the very center of your being). Exhale, and open your eyes. You are now veiled in the psychic energy of pleasure and attraction; you’ll feel more alert, but centered, too. Revel in it…and now get going, and enjoy that date!


Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of twelve books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe.
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