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Girls’ Night Out - What Women Really Talk About


Want to listen in on a group of women as they sip drinks and talk about guys they think are hot, pickup lines they hate, and more? Here’s your chance!

By Amy Spencer

ey, guys: You know those nights when you’re ordering a beer and you see a table of cute girls giggling in the corner? Ever wonder what those women are talking about—men they’re dating, guys nearby who’ve caught their eye, maybe even a comment or two about you? Well, guess what: They really are discussing all of the above (in gory detail, we might add). And since some of the things women talk about might make you more of a catch the next time you’re out, we thought we’d give you a peek at this privileged conversation. To do that, I invited a bunch of my single gal pals to join me at a New York bar on a Friday night. Come eavesdrop and understand what makes the females of the species tick.

The girls:
Trang, 33, writer
Tracy, 29, art director
Elaine, 32, producer
Katrina, 34, fashion designer
Stephanie, 36, photo editor

Q: So which guys in this bar catch your eye and why?
Stephanie: I like the one in the blue shirt. He’s just been talking to his friend and laughing a lot. He looks nice. He’s boyfriend material.

Trang: The guy in white is better looking but has been looking around the room too much, like he’s checking out the place for girls. He looks like a player.

“Please guys, don’t use a line! Just come up to me.”
Stephanie: I agree! The guy in white is the hottest guy in the room, but I don’t like to date the hottest guy in the room. That’s the kind of guy who makes you fight to be the Thursday night girl and not just the Tuesday night girl.

Katrina: When I was younger, I cared about looks more. But I just got out of an 11-year relationship, and now, I know better. Guys who aren’t that hot can actually be better boyfriends and be better in bed.

Tracy: The least attractive guy I ever slept with was the best in bed.

Q: Are you more open to meeting guys who are alone or in a group?
Trang: I get intimidated by a loud pack of men. I’ll never approach them.

Elaine: But I think a guy alone at a bar is a little freaky. Like, where are his friends? Why is he lingering here alone instead of at home?

Katrina: I like to see a guy alone. It shows he’s confident and will probably be into talking to me.

Stephanie: But if he’s with a girl, I’d never talk to him. I automatically assume they’re together.

Katrina: If a guy is with a female friend of his, when she gets up to go to the bathroom, he should totally look around and show that he’s open and available.

Q: What are the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard from a guy?
Stephanie: This guy the other night came up to us and was like, “Hey, you guys are cute, will you two make out for me?” They say dumb opening lines because they think it’s funny, but it’s not.

Trang: I had a guy say, “You owe me a piece of gum.” I asked why and he said, “Cause when I saw you, the gum fell out of my mouth.” He was like, “I know you think that’s dumb, but I just had to say it.”

Elaine: I hate when guys say, “I know you think it’s dumb but....” If you know you think it’s dumb, then why would you say it?

Katrina: Lines don’t work. It’s a waste of time, and it’s only going to make me not like you right off the bat. I’ve never heard a good line. Please guys, don’t use a line! Just come up to me.

Q: So what should a guy say to impress you?
Tracy: Go ahead and tell us we’re beautiful! Not immediately, but, yeah, just to hear a guy say, “You’re so beautiful” is always great. But you can’t say “hot” or “sexy,” you have to say “beautiful.”

“We’ll say it’s ‘girls only’ but hello…if we didn’t want to meet guys, we’d open a bottle of wine at home!”
Katrina: I think the words you choose don’t matter; just be genuine and sweet about it instead of pervy.

Stephanie: Yeah, you could tell me I have great boobs as long as you’re not drooling on me while you say it.

Katrina: Right! Are you a nice guy who wants to get to know me and is also really attracted to me, or are you just trying to hook up? We can tell the difference!

Q: Do you like it when a guy buys you a drink as an icebreaker?
Trang: One night recently the bartender sent a drink over and when I asked who it was, he said, “I can’t say.” I thought that was creepy, because then I was thinking, “You’re just going to watch me drink this drink?” What’s the point of sending over a drink if you’re not going to let her thank you for it? I think it can be a fun way to start a conversation.

Tracy: I’d much rather someone come up to me and say, “Can I buy you a drink?” Because then if I’m not interested, I can say no. If you send a drink over, I’ll feel obligated to talk to you because drinks in New York are $10 a pop, so I’ll feel like I have to give you $10 worth of conversation! It’s better if a guy comes over and asks. Then I have the option of saying no, and they get to keep their money!

Q: What makes you want to go home with a guy the same night you meet him?
Katrina: Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol…

Elaine: Come on, but you also have to like the guy. If I’m not laughing and asking you questions about yourself, I’m probably not taking you home with me.

Tracy: That’s when it happens for me too, when we’re having so much fun laughing and talking that I don’t want the night to end. In my head, I’m naïve about it, like, “Oh, I don’t want it to end, so let’s go back to my place and keep it going.” I’m not thinking that I’m going to have sex. I do, but it’s usually unintentional. I’m just having so much fun that sometimes it goes until breakfast!

Q: How can a guy spot a girl who’s on the prowl?
Trang: If she’s openly flirtatious and dancing sexy with her friends on the dance floor, it shows she’s looking for attention. I’ve been that girl!

Katrina: I feel like I’m always the one who makes the move. I know it’s old-school, but I like it better when the guy makes the move.

Q: How do you act if you’re not interested in a guy?
Tracy: For me, if we’re talking, the closer he gets to me, I’ll keep taking steps back. And then I’ll be like, “Oh wait, I have to talk to my friend.” If I’m not interested, I just don’t come back.

Trang: I’ll talk to a guy, but my attention will be everywhere but on him. I’ll be looking around a lot and give him really short, one-word answers.

Stephanie: I’m a chicken. I’ll just give a fake half-smile, and look away a lot, and start talking to someone else. I’m always nice. Because I actually think it takes a lot of courage to walk up to a woman that you don’t know in a bar. So I’m always flattered.

Trang: And it’s the reason we’re out for girls’ night anyway, right?

Katrina: Yeah. We’ll say it’s “girls only” but hello…if we didn’t want to meet guys, we’d open a bottle of wine at home. When we’re out, we want to meet guys!

Stephanie: We totally do.

Tracy: Totally.


New York City-based writer Amy Spencer has contributed to Glamour, New York and Real Simple.
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