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Should You Ask Him Out?


Do guys like it when gals make the first move? 7,000 men weighed in for our exclusive Happen/Match.com poll—and their answer may surprise you.

By Amanda May

ou’ve had a major crush on your best friend’s cute co-worker for months, or maybe you’ve got your eye on that guy you see ordering a chai latte at your local coffee house most weekday mornings. Should you bat your eyes and hope he gets the point, or should you just ask him out already? While you’ve probably heard plenty of conflicting opinions from everyone—your pals, your mom, even that book The Rules—we decided to let the voices that really count weigh in: That’s right, let’s hear it from the men.

And the results are overwhelming: Nearly 75 percent of the 7,000 guys polled by Happen/Match.com say they would love, love, love for a woman to suggest they get
The results are overwhelming: Nearly 75 percent of men would love, love, love for a woman to suggest they get together.
together some time. Another 16 percent said that they wouldn’t mind being asked out, as long as the woman was subtle about it. Fewer than 10 percent of those polled said they prefer to do the asking.

Whatever happened to men digging the thrill of the chase? “A woman who asks a man out is very attractive,” explains Laurie Puhn, J.D., Happen’s communication expert and author of Instant Persuasion. “She’s sending the guy a signal that says, ‘I’m confident, independent, and not afraid of failure.’ For most men, that’s the kind of woman they want to date.”

So if you want to turn the tables and take the plunge, Puhn advises being upfront, but casual. “If you’re going to do it, just do it,” she recommends. “Propose a specific plan. Say, ‘Hey, would you like to have a drink with me this weekend?’” Odds are, he’ll be flattered—and will say yes.


Amanda May is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn, NY, who’s written for Redbook and other publications.
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