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Love Science - The Right Time To Have “The Talk”


A recent study has found that certain days of the week are better for heart-to-heart talks than others — and the results will really surprise you.

By Laura Schaefer

o maybe you want to chat with your beau about being exclusive... or perhaps you want to coax your sweetie to visit your family instead of hers for Thanksgiving. If you’ve ever wondered when the right moment to broach a touchy topic was, well, science now has the answer for you. According to a recent study at Arizona State University, some times are better than others to raise tricky conversational topics in a relationship.

In the research, the conversations of couples were recorded over seven days and analyzed to find which days of the week are best — and worst — to speak up. Surprisingly, the best days to raise a delicate subject with your mate are Monday and Tuesday, the worst
The worst time to raise a tricky topic? On a Wednesday and Saturday.
Wednesday and Saturday. Huh? It’s understandable that Wednesday, a.k.a. “hump day,” is less than ideal. But Saturday seems like prime convo time. What gives? “I think the Saturday scores are likely due to the fact that couples probably are trying to accomplish many of the household tasks that they have had to neglect during the week,” explains Jess Alberts, the lead researcher of the study and professor of communication at ASU in Tempe. “In addition, couples may experience some feelings of being disgruntled because the day isn't as fun as they had hoped or it hasn't met their expectations in other ways.”

Maybe that’s why Monday came out on top—after all, few couples expect to have soul-searching chats that day, so perhaps the element of surprise is on your side. Plus, points out Alberts, “Mondays find couples reasonably rested and the weekend chores are done.” That can be more conducive to a good heart-to-heart.

But if Monday is the right day for dialogue, should one shoot for a morning, afternoon, or evening to talk? According to Alberts, that all depends on when you turn on the tube. “Therapists often counsel couples to ‘turn off the TV and just talk,’” says Alberts. “What we found is that couples do a surprising amount of talking, even talk about their relationship, while they are watching TV.” So go ahead and hit your honey with some “So how do you feel about, you know, us not seeing other people?” while you two are channel surfing—you may make more progress than you’d expect.


Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. Based on researching this story, she is going to wait until Monday to ask her boyfriend to vacation with her family.
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