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Quiz - Are You Ready To Date Again?


Yes, you’re single. But are you sure you’re over that big break-up? Find out here.

By Caitlin Ascolese

hether you were together for six weeks or sixteen years, it’s hard to think about a new relationship after a big break-up. But sooner or later you have to decide if the time is right to dive back into the dating pool. “We all heal differently,” says relationship expert Maria Shaw. “It’s more about a feeling than a deadline.” Take our quiz to help figure out whether you’re ready to take the plunge.

1. Your perfect dinner date with a new person would end with:
a. Your ex driving by the restaurant just as you’re leaving. He stops and
“It’s more about a feeling than a deadline.”
begs you to take him back.
b. One word: dessert!
c. A delicious kiss.


2. Your friends would say that when it comes to judging a potential mate, you’re:
a. Hung up on your ex: You still compare everyone to your former love.
b. Open-minded: You’ll give anyone a chance, even someone who may not be right for you.
c. Picky: After that last relationship, you know what you want—and don’t want.


3. You meet someone at a cocktail party who asks, “Are you single? Do you want to be set up?” Without thinking, you say:
a. “Unfortunately…and no thanks,” and sigh sadly.
b. “Guess so, which is still weird to say—I just ended a long-term thing.”
c. “Yes, but I’m happy; only introduce me if this person is amazing!”


4. What would your ex have to do to get another chance?
a. Shoot you an e-mail that says, “I’m sorry” plus a sad little emoticon face.
b. Prove—not just promise—that he or she can treat you better.
c. Oversee the freezing-over of hell.


5. The new person you’re seeing reveals that his or her last relationship ended for the same reasons yours did. You think:
a. “A kindred spirit!” and pour out your heart.
b. “Danger, Will Robinson!” and head for the hills.
c. “Good to know that going in,” and talk about what you both learned from the experience.


6. The tune that was “your song” with your ex comes on the radio as you’re carpooling to work. You:
a. Spend the day depressed.
b. Feel weird for about half a second, then start making small talk to distract yourself.
c. Change the station.


7. You’re checking out a cutie at the mall when his or her rather unattractive spouse walks over. You feel:
a. Awful. If you’re still single, it means you must be even less attractive than that person!
b. Disappointed. You’d been hoping for a flirtation.
c. Psyched—if that person can find a soul mate, you should have no problem!


Mostly “A”s
Still Reeling

Since your relationship ended, you're feeling like you don’t know what to do next. Congratulations—you’re perfectly normal. It takes time to figure out what the solo you, as opposed to the couple you, is looking for. Until then, dating just to feel wanted (or not to feel alone) can only backfire.

Instead of bringing the emotions you still feel (pain, anger, sadness) into a new relationship, pour your energy into your career, friends, and hobbies, anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Soon, you’ll realize how much you have going for you… and that’s when you’ll be ready to date
“If dating starts to produce a lot of anxiety, trust yourself and give it more time.”
successfully.

Mostly “B”s
Ready for Risks

Good for you! You’ve gotten past the “What did I do wrong?” phase and you’re not holding out hope of getting back together. From the sound of things, you have a healthy enough ego to start taking chances.

Scary? Sure. But remember, everyone risks rejection when dating, so it’s normal to be anxious. However, “if dating starts to produce a lot of anxiety, trust yourself and give it more time,” says Susan Amato, L.C.S.W., a loss counselor in New York City. Think you’re ready to get back in the scene? Make time for your single friends. They’ll help you analyze the ins and outs of dating and reassure you as you plunge back in.

Mostly “C”s
Romance-Bound

Lucky you! Not only are you over your ex, but you’ve processed what happened so you won’t repeat those same mistakes. “The goal is to get over your past with a clear conscience and bring what you’ve learned into the new relationship,” says Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a psychologist in Los Angeles, California.

Your future success is made possible by one quality: your confidence. You know that the break-up wasn’t because you’re a bad person; it just wasn’t right for the two of you. And because you’re happy with yourself, you can build a new relationship with another cool person…one that’s better than your ex. True love might not happen right away, but with your positive attitude, your next love will be well worth the wait.


Caitlin Ascolese is a freelance writer living in New York.
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