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Could You Be Dating A Married Man?


Experts and women who've been there offer 8 ways to tell if your guy has a life—and a wife—you don't know about.

by Michele Bender

re you getting the vibe that maybe you're not the only woman in your guy's life? That perhaps he's sneaking around? Check out these give-aways that your man may
It's obvious that something's amiss if he insulates you from his life.
well be married (unfortunately, it does happen!).

1. You only meet a few friends
"It's obvious that something's amiss if he insulates you from his life and you don't meet his friends or family. But even if he does introduce you to certain people in his inner circle, is it always the same small group as opposed to a variety of people and at various occasions? Limiting your contact with his friends and family to a select group usually means he has a network of people who know he's cheating and go along with it." —David Lieberman, Ph.D., author of Never Be Lied to Again

2. He won't stay local
"A tell-tale sign is that he always chooses restaurants or activities that are far, far away from where he lives. He certainly wouldn't want to take a date anywhere in his neighborhood because there's a very strong likelihood that someone would recognize him." —Charles T. Rahn, a former police office and owner of A Very Private Eye, which offers a Check A Date service

3. You only know his cell-phone number
"A bad sign is that he only gives you a cell phone number, not a home number, and gives you some excuse about how he's never home (so his cell is the best way to reach him) or that he doesn't have a land line. Or he doesn't give you any number and explains why it's best for him to always call you." —Gilda Carle, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Don't Bet on the Prince! How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself

4. He pulls the hand-to-mouth move
"One big clue: When you ask him about his past relationships or if he's been married before, he shows lying behaviors like looking away or down or putting his hand over his mouth. These are classic body-language signs that show he's holding back and not wanting to reveal everything about himself. Another sign of lying is clearing his throat, licking his lips, or touching his nose. Research shows that blood vessels in the nose actually get larger when you lie, and he's feeling that happen,
One tip off can be the kind of car he has.
which makes him touch his nose." —Dr. Lillian Glass, body-language expert and author of Toxic People

5. Case the car he drives
"One tip off can be the kind of car he has. The married guy I dated drove a Volvo station wagon even though he said he was divorced with grown kids. A single guy wouldn't drive a family car." —Annie, a New York City woman who went on ten dates with a married man

6. Look for the photo evidence
"Take note if you see photos of other women in his office, wallet or anywhere else and he seems to make excuses for them. My married guy said the photo he had was his ex-fiancée. Of course it was his wife." —Carley, a New York City woman who dated a married man for six weeks

7. Beware the blabbermouth
"A red flag that he's deceiving you is too much talking. For example, you say, 'I'd like to see where you live' or 'I'll meet you at your place.' Instead of responding with, 'Sure,' or 'When', you get too many long and detailed explanations about why he can't." —Sonia Choquette, Ph.D., psychic and author of Trust Your Vibes

8. He's all about the weekend getaway
"He's probably married if he never suggests that two of you go away together. Or if the only time you do go away is when he goes out of town on business because that kind of trip gives him ample cover from his wife." —David Lieberman, Ph.D.


Michele Bender is a freelance writer for magazines, including Health, Redbook and Fitness. She once dated a soon-to-be-married man—his fiancée turned out to be a co-worker at her new job.
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