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Lonely? 3 Ways To Get Over It

No hot date this weekend…or the next? These new products claim they can fill the void with flattery, warm hugs, and more. See what you think…

By Riki S. Markowitz

If you need…

…someone to hug
Wrap your arms around the Needies (Needies.com)—a trio of sad-looking stuffed animals that, thanks to a custom-made electronic “nervous system,” can feel your squeezes. The more you coddle them, the more they talk and sing about how you’re the center of their universe. Comments range from complimentary (“You are loving, you are kind”) to clingy (“Please don’t go away”) to downright creepy (“You’re the one I do not mind touching me on all my parts.”) Between the three of them, you’ll have your hands full—provided their neediness doesn’t drive you to hide them at the back of the closet.

…a sleeping companion
Are you one of those people who really, really hates
The more you coddle them, the more they talk and sing about how you’re the center of their universe.
sleeping solo? Then you can be cradled in someone’s arms all night long, no tossing and turning, cover-stealing, snoring, or “I should head back to my place, got a busy day tomorrow” excuses. Sound ideal? Then look no further than the Cuddle Buddy Arm Pillow (Armpillow.com), a torso-shaped cushion complete with blue PJs and an arm that wraps lovingly around you. Added perk: There’s not much of a sex drive in all that stuffing, so you won’t have to worry about that hand wandering come 3 a.m. in search of some action.

…a declaration of undying devotion
From Japan comes this coffee mug that whispers sweet nothings. When you pour in some hot joe, the liquid activates a computer chip in the mug, causing the sonorous voice of hunky Korean soap star Bae Yon Joon to say: “You are the only woman I love. I would love to be with you even after my hair turns gray… I offer my warm hands and strong legs to support you. I love you.” How’s that for a morning pick-me-up? It’s not available in the States yet, but one can only hope they’ll hire George Clooney or Antonio Banderas for the speaking role.


Riki S. Markowitz is a writer living in Brooklyn.
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