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Annoying Things That Couples Say…


Annoying Things That Couples Say…

Know how coupled-up folks just looove to make "helpful" remarks to single folk, like "You're just too picky"? Here's how to respond to their most irritating comments.

by Michele Bender

ooner or later, it happens to all of us who are free agents. You're hanging out with members of the paired-up set, and you wind up on the receiving end of a possibly well-intentioned but most definitely annoying comment about your single status. Sure, you can just seethe in silence. But if you'd like to reply, we're happy to help: Here, some comebacks, courtesy of top relationship experts...and one comedian.

Annoying couple comment #1:
"So, how's the single life? Been on any wild and crazy dates lately?"

Shut-them up answer:
"Why are you wondering? Looking for a vicarious thrill through me?"

—Dr. Lillian Glass, psychologist and author of Toxic People

Annoying couple comment #2:
"There are so many great single people out there—maybe you're being too picky."

Shut-them up answer:
"Yeah, you're right. It's just I have these things called standards."

—Matt Iseman, comedian who appears on E! and Comedy Central.

Annoying couple comment #3:
"You can't expect to meet anyone if you aren't getting yourself out there! Have you gone to singles' events? Tried tennis? Talked to a matchmaker or something?

Shut-them up answer:
"You're absolutely right. But it's difficult because I'm shy/busy/fill in the blank, so if you know some single men/women, introduce me!"

—Dr. Lillian Glass

Annoying couple comment #4:
"You're so lucky you're single—so much freedom, independence, etc..."

Shut-them up answer:
"You're right. We give up a lot when we get married."

—Laurie Puhn, lawyer and author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life

Annoying couple comment #5:
"You don't need to worry—you're a guy. Men get better-looking when they're older and can have kids at 70."

Shut-them up answer:
"Good point. My wife might not even be born yet."

—Matt Iseman

Annoying couple comment #6:
"You dog, you! Tell me about your latest exploits."

Shut-them up answer:
"Oh, but I can't. They're all X-rated." (Add a smug smile for maximum effect.)

—Gilda Carle, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of Don't Bet on the Prince! How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself

Annoying couple comment #7:
"It's hard being alone during the holidays, isn't it?"

Shut-them up answer:
"Yeah, but I save a fortune on gifts."

—Matt Iseman

Annoying couple comment #8:
"You know, you should've stuck with ___ ( insert name of an ex)."

Shut-them up answer:
"I'm not the kind to settle, thanks. I'm waiting for my perfect match, like you did." (Yes, flattery works!)

—Dr. Lillian Glass

Annoying couple comment #9:
"Ever get lonely?"

Shut-them up answer:
"Yeah, but then I think about being with the same person forever, and the feeling goes away."

—Matt Iseman

Annoying couple comment #10:
"It sure must be hard out there as a single person these days, huh?"

Shut-them up answer:
"Not. It's actually pretty wonderful—very freeing and empowering."

—Dr. Gilda Carle

Michele Bender is a freelance writer for magazines like Health, Marie Claire, Redbook and Fitness. She thinks there should be a fine for married people saying these things to single people.
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