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Take Me Back!


Happen Awards: “How I Won My Sweetie Back”

When it comes to begging forgiveness, some people will do just about anything for love. We salute them with these awards!

by Matt Christensen

The "Keep It Under Raps" Award
"I had a fight with a girl I was dating, and to try and get over it, I went out drinking with the guys, and one thing led to another. Eventually, the phone got pulled out, and I called her. She phoned me the next day and said I'd left her the sweetest, funniest voicemail ever. Apparently, I apologized and told her how much I cared about her all in the form of a freestyle rap! I couldn't believe it, and neither could she. I can't rap to save my life, but she said she hadn't smiled that big in a while."
—Marty, 31

The "Best Dramatic Entrance" Award
"My girlfriend and I had been taking a break from dating for about a week. Things were all good until we ran into each other one day. We both pretended like nothing was wrong, but I couldn't take it anymore and I called her shortly after. Right in the middle of a fairly deep conversation, tears and everything, my cell phone died. I needed to see her, so I walked seven miles to her house in the rain (what can I say? I had transportation issues that day) and showed up shivering, coughing, and barefoot on her front steps. We agreed the fight was over—and that I was stupid for not having a land line."
—Matt, 24

The "Best Use of Potassium" Award
"I had a huge fight with my girlfriend. We decided we should talk things out and be civil before making any permanent decisions about our relationship. We met, and it turned out to be really awkward. But when she wasn't looking, I slipped a picture of a banana in her bag. Across the top it said, 'I'm still bananas for you.' Corny, I know, but she called me when she found it and said it made her laugh. Things got better from there."
—Ed, 26

The "Make Him An Offer He Can't Refuse" Award
"My old boyfriend and I got into a fight when I wouldn't stop making fun of one of his favorite movies, The Godfather. He got really upset, and I realized that I shouldn't have teased him about something so important to him (he was Italian). So I rented the movie and memorized one of Don Vito Corleone's monologues, then asked him to come over for dinner. I cooked him all this Italian food and, during the middle of the meal, I busted out the speech. He was genuinely touched and impressed."
—Jan, 30

The "Best Grade-School Throwback" Award
"My girlfriend and I had a fight the day before Valentine's Day. I got a hundred of those little kid valentines, with SpongeBob SquarePants and The Backstreet Boys on them, and wrote different things I liked about her on each one. I put them all into a box wrapped with plain brown paper, and I drew a heart on the top that said 'I'm sorry.' She called me when she found them on her doorstep and forgave me."
—John, 25

The "Creative Use of Chalk" Award
"I was totally in love with this girl, but we broke up because I got angry and jealous when she wanted to spend a day with a good guy friend of hers. Of course, I immediately realized how stupid I'd been. So, during the middle of the night, I snuck over and wrote 'I'm sorry, please forgive me' on the side of her neighbor's house in sidewalk chalk so that she could see it from her bedroom. They were pissed, but it washed off. And, it worked."
—Chris, 32

The "Best Editing" Award
"I was head over heels for a guy, and he dumped me. I thought if I could just remind him of our intense connection, he would see the light. I was working at a filmmaking company and used the editing facilities to splice classic movie breakup scenes together with disturbing scenes from Apocalypse Now. Anyone else would have probably gotten a restraining order, but I knew his sense of humor, and I knew he would think it was funny. He loved it, and we're still together."
—Amy, 34

The "Man with the Satin Mask" Award
"I had a big fight with my girlfriend and she told me she never wanted to see me again. I tried calling her, e-mailing her, everything, but she wasn't budging. So, I went and bought fifty of those sleeping masks, and wrote 'you'll never have to see me again' on the outside of each one and 'but I'm sorry' on the inside. She called me the next day and forgave me."
—Chase, 29

The "Group Participation" Award
"My girlfriend and I had an argument while we were waiting for the subway. We both got on, not really interested in talking to each other. I didn't want to fight, and I felt horrible seeing her upset, so I stood up and pulled a 'Top Gun' and sang 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling' at the top of my lungs. She looked mortified at the beginning, but then some other people on the train actually joined in. She couldn't help but laugh, especially when the rest of the passengers applauded."
—David, 28


Matt Christensen writes for Maxim magazine.
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