16 top tricks to flirt via email

How can you effectively flirt online prior to meeting face-to-face? What can you say in an email to entice someone to make the next move? Discover these obstacles, recommendations and 10 flirtatious questions from

What are the biggest obstacles to email flirting with Internet dating candidates?
  • No chemistry online
    One of the biggest barriers to flirting online is the lack of a chemistry connection. One 42-year-old female writer shares, "It's hard to flirt via email because flirting is so much about physical attraction and eye contact."

  • Misunderstood flirting
    Flirting online with the right message can actually be an art. A 40-something actress says, "If you flirt too heavily, they might get the wrong impression and think you want to sleep with them on the first date." A 34-year-old male film director shares another warning. He says, "Do not ask them about their ex-boyfriend or ex-husband because you don't want them thinking about the past. The more you get another guy on their brain, you are just hurting your chances."

  • Grammar issues
    Several people noted that poor spelling and grammar are big turn-offs. A 40-something public relations manager offers, "I take off points for bad spelling and grammar." Alternatively, one guy commented, "Some people type fast, so as long as it is not too bad, I'm okay with a few mistakes. However," he adds, "I usually proof my emails before I send them out."
So what are the tricks to flirting online when Internet dating?
  • Humour is your ally
    You are trying to entice a candidate to keep communicating and perhaps go to the first-date level, so levity is important. A 38-year-old female comedian says, "I don't think it is hard to flirt via email at all. It's like acting. It's very fun to flirt online."

    A 35-year-old male film editor commented, "It depends on the person. You need to be able to read the person to tell what kind of humour you can get away with. Humour is definitely sexy, and so is confidence because girls pick that up."

    Try making a funny comment about his or her username or profile. For example, one 38-year-old marketing director revealed, "One guy had something in his headline about ice and cold. My email subject line to him said, 'Thaw your profile and thought I'd write.'" She added that it "might be corny, but at least it's not just the run-of-the-mill response."

  • Keep it simple
    Use light-hearted emails with an upbeat tone to attract your suitors online. A 40-something female painter advises, "Make your responses simple and use simple questions in your emails to flirt." There is no need for long emails either. A 42-year-old makeup artist says, "I can tell if I am interested after the first three or four sentences."

  • Hand out a few compliments
    One of the best ways to flirt online is to extend a few sincere compliments. People love to be told good news. Share a couple of positive notes in your emails, but remember not to overdo it. One 30-something guy comments, "I always try to say something subtle, but sincere." You might say to someone who plays the piano, "I think it is awesome that you play an instrument."
Ten flirtatious questions
Try using these 10 flirtatious questions, recommended by active Internet daters, as a way to attract potential mates on the Net:
  1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?
  2. Where was that great photograph of you taken?
  3. What is the most romantic place that you've been on a date?
  4. How could you possibly be 45 when you look 30 in your picture?
  5. If you could go anywhere in the world for a romantic holiday, where would you go?
  6. What was your ex thinking when he/she let you go?
  7. What is your favourite ice cream flavour and why?
  8. What is your favourite colour and why?
  9. Should I pick you up in my Rolls or Benz?
  10. So when's our second date?
Don't forget your humour and good will, and keep it simple when email flirting on the Internet. You will have better luck using levity and throwing out a few sincere compliments with your Internet dates.

John Gray PhD, of, is considered one of the world’s leading authority on relationships. He is the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, one of the best-selling non-fiction books of the 90s. Have a question for John Gray? Send it in! Due to the amount of feedback he receives, Dr. Gray may not be able to respond to all questions.

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