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Bad Pick-up Lines…


These seemingly lame come-ons actually charmed women. Just goes to show you, romance is always full of surprises. Read on and pick up an idea or two.

by Matt Christensen

The Corniest Line Ever Award
"This guy who was so not my style came over to me and my friends and asked: 'Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?' We said no and kept walking, and then he said, 'Well, it's enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Brian.' We all cracked up and kept talking to him." —Charity, 29, Cincinnati, OH

The Artistic License Award
"I was shooting pool with friends, and some guys offered us a friendly challenge. Midway through the game, one of them looked at me and said, 'Do you
We all cracked up and kept talking to him.
remember Crayola crayons? Well, they used to have this color called Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color, and your eyes are actually Blizzard Blue.' I thought it was so cute! He had me right there." —Erica, 21, Brunswick, OH

The Balls of Steel Award
"I was at an office party when a guest of a coworker introduced himself and said, 'Blueberries or strawberries?' Confused, I asked what he meant, and he replied, 'I just want to know what kind of pancakes to make you in the morning.' He said it with such a straight face that it was like a scene in a funny movie. I didn't eat breakfast with him, but I did give him my number." —Jan, 33, Cleveland, OH

The Dumb and Dumber Award
"This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster.' I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!" —Holly, 19, Milford, OH

The Mama's Boy Award
"I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, 'Would it freak you out if I said that I've already told my mother about you?' I said, 'No, why?' Then he told me that he'd actually
I thought it was adorable that he was a mama's boy.
stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama's boy." —Michelle, 25, Erie, PA

The Oddest Use of a Parking Space Award
"I fought tooth and nail with a guy over a parking space and won. When I came back out to my car, there was a note on it that said, 'I like your style. Call me.' It was very unexpected, and I loved the approach. See, it pays to be a lover and a fighter." —Lynn, 36, Boston, MA

The Best Brown-Nosing Award
"This poker party I was at started to get very crowded. As a group of girls walked in, this guy came up behind me and said, 'I think you're going to be asked to leave soon. You're so pretty, you're putting all the other women to shame.' I tend to be very shy, so his compliment really helped crack my shell." —Katie, 31, Chicago, IL

The Let-Me-Count-The-Ways Award
"I first met my current boyfriend at a bar, and after we introduced ourselves, he said, 'I adore you.' He then drunkenly went on to catalog why he adored me — from the way I ordered drinks to the way I brushed hair out of my eyes. It was sort of scary that he'd been watching me, but what took it out of stalker mode and made it flattering was his sweetness and sincerity." —Melissa, 27, Brooklyn, NY


Matt Christensen has written for Maxim and The Cleveland Plain Dealer. The best line he's ever used was, "Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?" I did, and I didn't, respectively.
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