Stood-up - The Stats

							How it happens and why By Amy Spencer

We asked, you answered—and now we know the truth about just how many of you have left someone waiting. (For shame!) Plus: Shrinks and a celeb weigh in on the subject.

hat do you learn when you ask 2,000 people whether they’ve ever stood someone up? That twelve percent—that’s about one in eight of you naughty people—admit to having done so once, according to a recent Match.com poll. Another six percent of you have failed to show your face at least a few times.

Ouch. So why do some people do it? Do they relish the thought of someone waiting for them as the minutes tick by, sipping pity drinks as their self-esteem curdles? Not exactly. “Standing someone up can be a sign of a very uncaring person, or it can be a very passive-aggressive gesture. A stander-upper may not be trying to inflict pain; rather, they’re so afraid to call and let down their date, they don’t call at all,” says Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a relationship psychologist in Los Angeles. If you’re unlucky enough to be on the receiving end, “take it as a blessing and run,” she adds. After all, who’d want to date someone that rude and/or flaky? And know that you’re in good company: Actor David Spade of TV’s 8 Simple Rules... says that he gets stood up all the time. “It happens about 1.3 times a week,” he recently quipped.

More good news: 82 percent of survey respondents said they've never, ever stood anyone up. So go find one of them to date—you’ll have a nice big group to choose from.


Amy Spencer writes for Glamour and Maxim. She’s never been stood up or stood someone up—and she plans on keeping it that way.