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Find The One From The Inside Out


Are you sick of attracting misguided love matches? Read on to learn how your own energy — whether it’s positive or negative — can attract others to you, and how to harness it to find your soul mate.

By Barrie Dolnick

ost of us believe that love is indefinable — even magical. How does love happen? You fully participate in this mysterious process, whether or not you are aware of it. It’s not just your words, your looks and your charm at work here. There are many important unseen personal characteristics that are
Let you heart direct you to the right people.
embedded in your psychology as well as emotional and psychic energy. You actually find love from the inside out! Here are some thoughts for giving your internal attraction energy a loving makeover.

Your heart energy attracts others to you
When you write your profile or meet someone for the first time, get in touch with your heart center. Place your fingers in the valley in the middle of your chest. This is the energetic center of your emotions, also known as the “Heart Chakra.” It is the place where love and compassion manifest within the body. It’s not uncommon for this site to be tender; after all, everyone has some sadness or grief in their lives. Feel the love in your heart emanating outward from this point in your body while you write your online dating profile, meet someone new, or just browse singles who are online. Your heart has eyes for love that your brain doesn’t understand, so let you heart direct you to the right people.

Anger draws in people, too — the wrong ones
Check your frustration and anger levels before you write your profile, get in touch with someone, or go out into the world looking for love. If you’ve recently had a bad breakuup or are currently annoyed with someone, your emotional state can (and will) attract the same thing. “You can attract the very thing that you ‘hate’ in someone — love attracts, sure, but so does hate,” says San Mateo-based therapist Susan Strong. Finding a rebound relationship is much the same; bring your breakup into the beginning of a new relationship and it will always be there. It’s so much better to come into new love with an open heart. It makes you more available to explore how love can transform your life for the better and also gives you emotional integrity. If you’re both harboring feelings of anger against other people, you’re not loving at your true capacity.

Forgiveness for past wrongs creates plenty of space for new love to bloom
Every rat and bum who you’ve had the misfortune to date needs to go through your internal forgiveness system and be processed. Yes, it’s very hard to forgive the people
What you want in love is someone who has equal power in the relationship.
who hurt you, but they did so because they were weak within themselves, not because there was anything wrong with you. Usually those who behave badly towards us don’t know how to express what they’re feeling, so they create situations that make it necessary for you to leave. And really, the most important person to forgive is yourself — because although you can lay the blame at the feet of those who have wronged you, you are the one who put yourself in that position in the first place! Let go of the anger and pain that keeps you attached to these people after a relationship has ended (see my warning about anger in the above paragraph to remind you why this is important). We all make mistakes, and we can all learn something from them. There’s no honor in holding onto pain, and it will most certainly keep you from feeling real love if you choose to do so.

Soul mates come in many varieties, but they all empower each other
What you want in love is someone who has equal power in the relationship. Being on the same playing field emotionally and spiritually gives you a great connection — the physical, intellectual and creative elements are important, too, but being able to share the power in your relationship really gives you a chance to enjoy healthy longevity as a couple. Power does not necessarily mean money or influence, much as we’re led to believe. Rather, it’s the ability to choose what is right for you and take action to achieve what you want in life. Power is, essentially, your free will, courage, talent and opportunity acting together harmoniously to achieve your life’s goals. Power is all about what you are prepared to do and how far you are willing to go. Your power evolves and devolves as you move through your life. Solid relationships are between two people that choose to grow together, learn together and choose together throughout their lives. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t your equal because one of you then has to dominate, and — well, while that unequal dynamic might work for some people, it’s not a true partnership. Listen to your heart on this one!


Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of twelve books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe.
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