Increase Your Dating Bank!
If you’ve got the corporate world conquered but can’t find love, we’ll show you how to use your business skills to increase your love wealth.
o doubt, dating can be big business. But grilling your coffee date like it’s a job interview for the position of significant other? BAD. Adding a little business sense to your love life, however? SMART.
“The most prosperous entrepreneurs identify their objective and then put together a specific action plan, including milestones and timelines. From there
it’s all about execution,” says money and time-saving expert Denise Winston, creator of www.moneystarthere.com. “When things get overwhelming, successful business people simply refer back to their action plan and quickly get back on track — you can use the same process with your love life.” In other words, taking a businesslike approach to ensure your own love life success may not sound romantic, but it could ultimately keep you moving toward your goal of finding a relationship — which is VERY romantic.
|Setting a goal is a vital first step.|
With that in mind, we asked several accomplished corporate/financial consultants to spill the business strategies they recommend to their clients and show you how to adapt these tricks of the trade to increase your love wealth. After all, when it comes to finding The One, there’s nothing wrong with strategizing to succeed.
Building Your Personal Love Business Plan
Consider these seven steps when building your personal love business plan:
1. Get clear on what you’re looking for in the market
Setting a goal is a vital first step. If you don’t have a clear idea of your objective, you will have a much harder time actualizing it. Winston suggests that you take the time to really think about what you want your love life to look like: “Fill in all of the details using every sense you have — sight, smell, emotion, touch, sound,” says Winston. “I used to envision a handsome, well-dressed man. He’d come home and give me a big hug, then we would sit down to a nice meal by candlelight. Plus he smelled really good.”
2. Decide how much you are willing to spend
When doing a deal, business experts know their maximum spending limit. “In the online dating world, time is money,” says Manisha Thakor, author of Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money with Your Honey. “Think about how much time you want to allocate to this as well as how long you want to give a service a chance to help you find your dream mate.” It can be helpful to set a limit on what you’re willing to “invest” in order to reach your goal. That way, if you aren’t getting results (but haven’t devoted enough time to searching or responding to emails), you’ll know you need to step it up. And if you’re spending too much time online, you may be neglecting other areas of your life that could make you more attractive to your ideal mate.
3. Do some due diligence
“Whether you are working on a business deal to acquire a company or interviewing a potential employer, research is critical,” says Jacquette M. Timmons, financial coach, trainer, and author of Financial Intimacy. The specifics of what, how and why you ask for things within a business setting may be different than the way you’d approach things in your romantic life. But, really, the same process should apply because the goal is essentially the same: you’re researching mutual compatibility on matters that are both important and non-negotiable alongside the more mundane things, such as shared interests and lifestyle. “Due diligence exposes likes and dislikes, preferences, prejudices, values, goals, and challenges, just to name a few,” says Timmons.
4. Conduct some first-hand research
“When a company brings a new product to market, it often employs focus groups and does limited product launches… in other words, nobody expects
to hit a home run right out of the gate,” says Thakor. “The same goes for online dating. Set a minimum number of dates you are willing to go on before deciding whether or not the process works for you.” Consider all your emails, phone conversations and coffee dates research. This includes discovering your personal online dating process (i.e., what works best for you), whether that involves meeting someone as soon as possible after connecting online or waiting until you’ve IMed each other and/or chatted on the phone.
|Business is all about navigating the terrain of give-and-take…|
5. Be wary of the hard sell
Someone who focuses completely on you, is super-pushy or seems too good to be true may be excellent at closing a sale — but don’t assume that such aggression will produce a quality romantic match. “In business, the best salespeople are the ones who don’t sell to you. Rather, they have demonstrated their value and given you — the customer — the necessary space to let you choose when it is the right time to buy,” says Timmons. “This is a powerful stance to take when it comes to your love life. It takes a lot of humility and grace to let someone discover if you are a good match; likewise, it takes a lot of confidence and trust to let time disclose if the person you’re interested in is right for you.” The best matches happen without either person having to convince the other that it’s a good fit.
6. Enlist a good support team
Once you have a clear vision of what it is you’re after, don’t keep it to yourself. Enlist the support of a few friends that you trust and don’t be afraid to get their opinions on potential “candidates.” They might see something you initially missed or urge you to revisit a profile you didn’t find so fascinating. “Good managers hire employees that make up for their own deficiencies,” says Winston. “Creating a strong team is essential to success.” And don’t forget that the people on your team could also set you up on dates, too.
7. Prepare for ongoing negotiations
“Business is all about navigating the terrain of give-and-take… in fact, the larger the deal or salary package you’re seeking, the more likely it is that neither party will get everything he/she wants,” says Timmons. “Increasing your love wealth requires negotiating your must-haves and deal breakers. Understand that, at some point, everybody has to leave something on the table while feeling good about the deal that ultimately got made.” In this way, romantic relationships are like business negotiations that get made on an intimate level. But the payoff when the deal is successfully closed makes it all worthwhile!
Kimberly Dawn Neumann has been called the “Carrie Bradshaw of Broadway” due to her two careers as a performer and writer. The author of two books — The Real Reasons Men Commit and Sex Comes First — and countless magazine articles, she’s also the founder of DatingDivaDaily.com.