Q and A With… Kate Hudson 2009
Words of wisdom: Our girlfriends are as important as our love relationships, says this Bride Wars star.
In Bride Wars, the guys in the movie initially say, “Hey, let’s just have a double wedding.” But then, of course, you wouldn’t have had a movie! In your real lives, if the situation were similar, would you just get married together?
Yeah. It would’ve been, like, “The more funds we would have, the bigger the party, the bigger the ballroom!” In real life, actually, I probably would have thought, I don’t even know if I want to get married, and so I’d tell my friend to go ahead. But then again, there’s that little part of you, where it’s, like, No, no, no. It’s my one day!
Plus, it’d be kind of weird if one of the grooms’ vows were better!
Your character seems to be just as attached to her best friend as she is to her fiancé...
Yes, definitely. It was an interesting time for us to do this film, because especially at the age my costar, Anne (Hathaway), and I are, you’re going through so many transitions. Having and honoring those friendships are just as important as your love relationships. You become empowered by your girlfriends and by the other women that you learn from.
When you go through relationships and stuff, you think, God, boys don’t have anybody to talk to. That must be really horrible. Boys just don’t talk about their feelings. They do talk to their female friends, though. I have my guy friends who call me, and they’re like girls. They call me and ask, ‘Hey, can you talk?’ And I’m, like, “Yeah, sure.” And they’re, like, “So, I broke up with my girlfriend… ” They talk to their girls. They don’t talk to their boys about it—they really don’t. I know my brothers; they talk to me. They don’t talk to their friends, because they’ll get the worst advice! Their friends are just excited that the guy is now single: “Come on, man…” That’s so funny.
Do you think there is too much emphasis placed on a woman getting married?
Personally, I love relationships and I would never be cynical about people wanting that day and getting excited about that day. I think there’s a reason for it. I always say that it’s your day to sort of present yourself to your man, to throw this party that’s about wanting to spend the rest of your life with somebody and bringing everyone together. The idea of the ceremony is great. The reality of the ceremony becomes stressful, but I think the emphasis on marriage will always be important for people, no matter what kind of marriage they chose, whether that’s getting hitched at the top of the Himalayas, just the two of them, or having a 300-person wedding. I think that people will always want that ceremony. When we all sit around and have coffee or drinks, the first thing you talk about is your kids, and then you talk about your relationship, and love and loss and drama in love. It’s such a big topic for us. So I think celebrating it will always be something people emphasize.
Look, everyone has his or her own opinion about the sanctity of marriage or what it is that they believe. I mean, I come from two parents who aren’t married. Well, I come from one parent who ended up not marrying my other parent. It’s sort of a complicated household. So it’s a little unconventional how I see it, but I can relate to it. And I got married, and it was great, and it was a blast. Everyone should do it.
Would you do it again?
Possibly. I don’t know. If it’s right. If it’s important to everybody. But I don’t know who the guy would be yet, so it would all kind of depend on what kind of relationship that is.
Can you tell us a story about your mom (actress Goldie Hawn) and how she has been a positive influence for you in the area of love?
When we sat down and were talking about trying to fix the end of this movie, we were all sitting around, and I told the story of my mother. My brother was getting married and we had this bridal shower for my sister-in-law. My mom made this speech— she said: “I want all the girls to look around the room, even if you don’t know each other, if you’re just getting to know each other or if it’s your sister. I want you remember one thing. Trust me: Men, they come and go. They always will. Hopefully they stay, but it’s the girl sitting next to you and the girl sitting across from you who are going to get you through everything.” We all were crying!
My mom is filled with all these little wisdoms like that, but that’s really important, the idea of not losing sight of that, no matter where you go in your life with men, because women give a lot to me. While we love relationships and thrive in them as we should, sometimes you lose sight of the girls who are there for you all the time. I have a girlfriend right now who’s off and running with somebody, but we’re always there. When she’s ready to pick up the phone and go, “I don’t know what to do!” we’re all there. That’s what the movie is about.
What’s the perfect guy for you?
I don’t know what the perfect guy is yet. I do know that I like honest guys. That always gets me going. I like guys who are really up-front and just are who they are. They’re hard to find!
Contributing entertainment editor Susan L. Hornik is based in Los Angeles.