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Gal’s Guide To His Halloween Costume


Wondering what a fella’s costume reveals about the kind of boyfriend he’d be? Here, we share some expert analysis.

By Margot Carmichael Lester

ou’ve spent more time planning your Halloween costume than most guys spend planning their fantasy football line-ups to make sure your outfit conveys exactly the right message. But what about the fellas? The parties will be full of Supermen and John McCains and devils. Wouldn’t it be great if you could get some insight into what makes him tick by the costume he’s wearing? Well, ladies, you can.

We assembled a team of costume and culture experts to
Wonder Woman might attract his inner superhero…
provide insight into what his Halloween sartorial selections say about him:

The Dark Knight
Procopio: If he’s going to don the cape and cowl, he’s obviously a dark, brooding character. He dwells in the shadows and stands alone, one man, against all the injustices in this world.

Schlobohm: This guy is mild-mannered by day and likes to do good without anything in return. He needs a woman of class and goodness, but can handle your dark side.

The costume that’ll impress him most: Wonder Woman might attract his inner superhero, but an angel will appeal to his desire to do good. Or play to his dark side and go as Catwoman.

Hellboy
Procopio: He’s on top of things with a devil-may-care attitude and out for a good time, but still packing that hero punch. He’s more misunderstood than the Hulk, but cynical enough to not give a damn what anyone thinks of him. Hellboy is looking for a date, not a girlfriend, not a wife, not someone to pick out furniture with.

Spencer: He’s got attitude, lots of attitude. That said, his character is deeply haunted by his past. Behind it all is a guy hoping to find someone who shares his painful childhood memories.

The costume that’ll impress him most: His bad-boy side will dig a biker chick or pirate vixen, but what he really needs is someone with a caring side—so give him a two-fer and go as a naughty nurse.

The Incredible Hulk
Procopio: He’s the quiet, corn-fed type. Communication can be difficult with Hulk. All that yakety-yak about shoes and ex-boyfriends make Hulk mad.

Spencer: This man wants the world to notice him, to take him seriously, to
His bad-boy side will dig a biker chick or pirate vixen…
understand that he’s not going be a doormat anymore.

The costume that’ll impress him most: A scientist or sexy shrink might tickle his intellectual or emotional fancy, but an equally volatile Storm from the X-Men could be his perfect match.

Indiana Jones
Schlobohm: He’s ready for adventure and ready to rock your world. But he needs a woman who can handle his constant globe-hopping and relate to his endless ability to get into, and out of, trouble.

Spencer: He’s a whip-cracking adventurer, a hopeless romantic and a quiet intellectual all rolled into one yummy sepia-toned bundle.

The costume that’ll impress him most: A yummy mummy would be an archeologist’s dream come true, but a pirate vixen could match his sense of swash-buckling adventure.

The Joker
Schlobohm: He probably spends hours thinking about how to punk his friends.

Spencer: The poisonous-colored clothes, the smeared clown face and the acid-green hair all shriek, “I’m wild! I’m unpredictable! I’m incredibly exciting to be around in a slightly terrifying way! And I’m funny!” Putting all this information into his appearance takes a huge amount of pressure off his actually having to be any of those things. He’s really a quiet kind of guy.

The costume that’ll impress him most: A goth girl would be irresistible to a Heath Ledger-style Joker, but a sexy anti-hero like Catwoman or Poison Ivy would mesh nicely with his sense of style and villainy.

So, my pretties, with all this input, you’ve got plenty of data to use in evaluating a potential date. Of course, not every dude donning these duds is guaranteed to be that dream date you’re searching for. But this guide can at least help you sort through all the delicious eye candy to pick a piece or two to savor.


North Carolina freelancer Margot Carmichael Lester once dressed up as an Enron whistle-blower, complete with whistle and Enron t-shirt. She landed a date with a for-real attorney dressed up as a convict.

For the other side of this story, read the Guy’s Guide To Her Halloween Costume.

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