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Women: Who’s your music match?

Women: Who’s your music match?

By Nina Malkin

Just because you’re not a groupie doesn’t mean you’re immune to the charms of the leading men of popular music. But crushing on a particular crooner can communicate more than just your ringtone preference; it can actually reveal volumes about what you’re looking for romantically — and what you should be wary of. Read on to understand the reasons why someone rocks your world...

1. The Trouble Man
The usual suspects: Eminem, who’s “Not Afraid” of Mick “Midnight Rambler” Jagger or Chris “Look at Me Now” Brown
What’s so hot about him? With his rebellious antics and relentless partying habits, he’s more fun than straitlaced Mister Nice Guy. He does it his way... usually, around four in the morning.
What he means to you: Wondering why you’re drawn to this guy? The obvious answer is that he taps into your inner bad girl. Plus, like a lot of women, you may have a taste for drama — which he’ll bring to your life in buckets. But attraction to the Trouble Man can be complicated. “If you have a history of being disappointed in relationships, you may choose this type because you know you can’t get close to him, or be hurt by him,” says Boston-based relationship, career and executive coach Suzanne Blake, author of Great News for Dating and Mating. But either you get hurt anyway, or you sabotage your chances of meeting a man you can have something meaningful with, so enjoy this bumpy ride if you’re not looking to settle down just yet.
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2. The Ego-man-iac
The usual suspects: Kanye “Jesus Walks” West, Jack “I Fought Piranhas” White, and Prince (you know, the guy who was too big for his name and had to invent his own symbol).
What’s so hot about him? This alpha dog is super-smart, high-powered and in control — that makes him excitement personified to virtually any woman. If you’re an ambitious over-achiever yourself, you may see him as the male version of you.
What he means to you: “He’s looking for a woman with his ego, not with his heart,” warns Blake. And that’s complex, since on one hand he’ll want you to be worthy of his attention, but on the other hand, he may not want to share the limelight with anybody. “He’ll be critical and try to improve you and may downplay your accomplishments,” Blake explains. A relationship with this kind of man can function if you’re content to defer to him, or it could work wonderfully if you’re both successful in different areas; that will offset the competition, Blake believes. In general, though, when two alphas fall in love, both must be able to appreciate and celebrate each other’s success — and make room in their agendas for romance.

3. The Lover Boy
The usual suspects: “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” with Usher, John “Your Body Is a Wonderland” Mayer, and Bruno “Just the Way You Are” Mars
What’s so hot about him? If you’re attracted to this kind of guy, here’s the implication: It’s hard for you not to fall for a sensitive sweetie who loves love so much. He brings you flowers, rubs your feet (and then some!) and really, really needs you, baby.
What he means to you: He’s in touch with his feelings and it’s great to hear him express his emotions (especially if you’re on the rebound, when whispered sweet nothings sound especially intoxicating). The sensitive type also partners well with ambitious, driven women — he’ll be there when you get home. “But he doesn’t have the dominant male energy many women need to sweep them off their feet,” notes Blake. Moreover, a Lover Boy who’s fresh out of a fairy tale emotionally can find real-life issues a challenge. “He may not be able to go deeper than the romantic phase,” Blake explains. “Will he be there when the garbage disposal breaks?” If he’s important to you, guide the relationship towards reality. Do some volunteer work together and see how he reacts — if he’s up to the task, this sweetie’s a keeper!

4. The Hunk Next Door
The usual suspects: Jon “It’s My Life” Bon Jovi, Kenny “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems” Chesney, and Justin “SexyBack” Timberlake
What’s so hot about him? Your taste in men gravitates to a good-time guy who looks cool washing his car in the driveway... and, hey, he’ll be happy to drop by for a glass of iced tea. He’s got an easy smile and a mellow attitude, but exudes a quiet strength, too.
What he means to you: A good time — and maybe more. “On the surface, the Hunk Next Door is simply someone to hang out with who won’t give you a hard time,” says Blake. “But there may be real substance to him.” He won’t fall apart when the going gets tough, and he may have things to teach you, like patience. When it comes to commitment, he takes it slow and doesn’t open up easily, so you’ll have to draw him out. Yet even if he does prove to be a rock, there’s a chance you might get bored. “It can get tiring if you’re the one initiating all the time, making all the decisions,” says Blake. Before you move on to someone less laid-back than he is, communicate your needs first and ask him to challenge you instead.

5. The Tortured Soul
The usual suspects: Gerard “Drowning Lessons” Way of My Chemical Romance, Brandon “Sick Sad Little World” Boyd of Incubus, Trent “Mr. Self Destruct” Reznor of Nine Inch Nails
What’s so hot about him? So you’re drawn to this kind of guy? Allow us to analyze his appeal by asking: How could anyone who’s never been pregnant be so miserable? The king of pain is a man of mystery, which is what intrigues you... and if you can heal him, you’ll be his heroine. Besides, you both look so good in black.
What he means to you: “You want a project, not a relationship,” says Blake, who points out that nurturing skills are basic to many women. Taking care of someone puts you in a power position and gives you a lot of control. “It also distracts you from your own problems; you don’t have to address your demons because his are so out there,” Blake says. Trouble is, you may be trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed — and that’s frustrating. There’s also a chance he could drag you down into his negativity. Blake advises that you listen to your gut about this guy. If you’re feeling sad and/or worried all the time, the relationship is unhealthy.

Nina Malkin is the author of An Unlikley Cat Lady: Feral Adventures In the Backyard Jungle.