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Rev Up Your Love Life With These Tips!

Notafunnyusrname

44 year old woman | Indian Trail, NC, United States | Seeking men 37-50 within 50 miles of Matthews, NC

Active within 24 hours

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  • About
  • Photos 26

Her details

Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, and they live at home (3)
Wants kids:
I'll tell you later
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
5'1" (154cms)
Faith:
I'll tell you later
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Insert witty catch phrase here

In her own words

*There seems to be a lot of living life to the fullest going on around here. I'm not positive that I know exactly what that means, but I'm pretty sure I don't do it. I think maybe I live life to the halfest. *I have three kids and they are the most important thing in my world. (Two of them are adult-ish so its not like I have three toddlers or anything). *I don't work out. I'm not fat and I'm not skinny. I'm soft and curvy. If you work out great, I'll be happy to drool over you, I will love it in fact (I'm a hypocrite I know) but don't ask me to run a marathon with you. That would be tragic and running hurts. *I eat like a little kid. I have the worst diet EVER. I love fast food, cookies and Diet Pepsi. I'm addicted to Taco Bell. Sorry, but I don't cook. That's what microwaves are for. *I think I'm the only person on here who doesn't get to travel, hike, run, play on the water or relax at the beach. I wish I could. Instead I do laundry and dishes in my spare time. *I'm always late. If we go out expect me to be at least 15 minutes late. Just tell me to meet 30 minutes earlier than you really want me there and I might actually be early. Think about it. *I'm really bad about returning texts and emails in a timely manner. I'm not a huge fan of phone calls. You've been warned so don't get all feisty with me. Please re-read this. Now read it again. Thank you. *I'm raising my kids by myself and taking care of my dad, plus I have the worlds worst work schedule ever for someone trying to date. I don't have a ton of free time. Patience and understanding are essential if we are to meet. Of course if I fall madly in love with you I would make you a priority. *I love confident, take charge, manly men who make me laugh, have great smiles, and look hot in tight t-shirts (Biceps are my favorite. Curls for the girls!). Men who make me feel important to them are the best. I want to matter to you damn it. *If you pick your nose please don't do it in front of me. For Gods sake brush your teeth and use deodorant. If my kids can do it you can too. Please give adequate warning if you are going to let one rip while I am in smelling range. *Current pictures are appreciated. I don't care how hot you were ten years ago. I looked better ten years ago too. *No pictures? That's very suspicious. I will assume that you must be hideous. *Please don't lie to me. I might just believe the lies coming out of your lying lie hole and then you'll burn in hell for being a huge douchetard. I don't want to feel responsible for your eternal damnation. *I don't have a lot of tolerance for dumb-assery. I don't get the whole winking at me from some place a million miles away. I have trouble dating people more than an hour away. My ultimate goal is to have a real relationship, not a pretend internet boyfriend that may or may not actually be a pimply faced teenager. Distance matters. *That "friends with benefits" business, yeah well, not gonna happen here. I'm not the HR department. *I'm sooo not a country girl. I hate most country music. I'm allergic to horses and I don't know any line dances. Wranglers, big belt buckles and cowboy hats just aren't my thing. *I sleep in a tiny little corner on the edge of my king sized bed. I sleep on my tummy. I don't snore. *And just so you can't say that I didn't say anything positive, I have really cute feet. I would post a picture of them just to prove it, but you know some guys get all pervy on here. *Speaking of pervy, I will NOT send you pictures of my boobs and if I want pictures of your junk I will ask. K Thanks. I could go on, but lucky for you I have to pee.

Her interests

Camping , Coffee and conversation , Dining out , Movies/Videos , Music and concerts , Exploring new areas , Nightclubs/Dancing , Shopping/Antiques , Watching sports , Wine tasting

Sports & exercise

Baseball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Dancing, Football, Inline skating, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines


I don't exercise regularly.


Sign

Leo

Pets

I like Dogs

So, I'm allergic to animals, especially the kind that live on farms and cats (no chance of becoming a crazy cat lady here). But hey, breathing is overrated anyway. Whats a little anaphylaxis? Nothing that an epi pen won't cure. You know CPR right?

Favorite hot spots

I used to live in Palm Desert, Ca. That place is hot. Hot tubs are hot, I like them. Saunas are hot, but I don't like them. I get pretty excited when I go to Target or Taco Bell, but my favorite place ever in the whole wide world is...my bed!

College

Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College, Baton Rouge, LA

Favorite things

Seat warmers in winter (gotta love a hot a**). Thunderstorms. Scary movies. Forehead kisses. Disneyworld. Good pillows. Jeeps. The smell of suntan lotion. Candle lit bubble baths. Green lights. Campfires. Road trip candy. No homework nights. Biceps.

For fun

What do I do for fun? Why, I check out match profiles of course. Isn't that what we all do? Having fun yet?

Last read

I read hot romances (so much more exciting than my life) suspense (I like to be scared), true crime (facinating) and bad Match profiles (scarier than anything else I've ever read), but really, I think the last thing I read was Green Eggs and Ham.

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More about her Create a profile to see what you share in common »

  Her What she is looking for
Appearance
Height: 5'1" (154cms) 5'9" (175cms) to 6'2" (187cms)
Body type: About average Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes: Blue Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair: Blonde Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Salt and pepper, Dark blonde, Bald
Lifestyle
Smoke: No Way No Way
Drink: Social Drinker Never, Social Drinker
Occupation: Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness No preference
I'm an RN in a psychiatric hospital. I get peed on, puked on, bled on, spit on, bit, hit, kicked and called nasty names for a living. For real.
Income: I'll tell you later No preference
Relationship: Divorced Never Married, Widow / Widower, Currently Separated, Divorced
Have kids: Yes, and they live at home (3) Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Wants kids: I'll tell you later Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Background
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian No preference
Faith: I'll tell you later No preference
Languages: English English
Education: Bachelors degree Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral
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