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Match.com Canada. Uniquely Canadian.

Notafunnyusrname

45 year old woman | Indian Trail, NC, United States | Seeking men 40-50 within 50 miles of Matthews, NC

Active within 1 week

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  • About
  • Photos 26

Her details

Relationship:
Divorced
Have kids:
Yes, and they live at home (3)
Wants kids:
I'll tell you later
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
About average
Height:
5'1" (154cms)
Faith:
I'll tell you later
Smoke:
No Way
Drink:
Social Drinker
Blah blah blah

In her own words

There seems to be a lot of living life to the fullest going on around here. I'm not positive that I know exactly what that means, but I'm pretty sure I don't do it. I think maybe I live life to the halfest. I have 3 kids and they are the most important thing in my world. Two of them are adults so its not like I have babies or anything. I don't work out. I'm not fat and I'm not skinny. I'm soft and curvy. If you work out great, I'll be happy to drool over you, but please don't ask me to run a 5K with you. That would be tragic and running hurts. Maybe I will have a beer waiting for you at the finish line. I eat like a little kid. I have the worst diet EVER. I love fast food and Diet Pepsi. I'm addicted to Taco Bell. Sorry, but I don't cook. That's what microwaves are for. I think I'm the only person on here who doesn't get to travel, hike, play on the water or go to the beach. I wish I could. Instead I do laundry and dishes in my spare time. You can expect me to be about 15 minutes late. Just tell me to meet 30 minutes earlier than you really want me there and I might actually be early. Think about it. I'm really bad about returning texts and emails in a timely manner. I'm not a huge fan of phone calls. You've been warned so don't get all feisty with me. Please re-read this. I'm raising my kids by myself and taking care of my dad. I have the worlds worst work schedule for someone trying to date. I don't have a ton of free time. Patience is essential if we are to meet. Of course if I fall madly in love with you I will make you a priority. I love confident, take charge men who make me laugh, have great smiles, and look hot in tight t-shirts (Mmm love biceps. Curls for the girls!). If you pick your nose please don't do it in front of me. For Gods sake brush your teeth and use deodorant. If my kids can do it you can too. Please give adequate warning if you are going to let one rip. Current pictures are appreciated. I don't care how hot you were ten years ago. I looked better ten years ago too. No pictures? That's very suspicious. I will assume that you must be hideous. I already take care of one old man and one teenage boy. Age preferences matter. Please don't lie to me. I might just believe the lies coming out of your lying lie hole and then you'll burn in hell for being a huge douchetard. I don't want to feel responsible for your eternal damnation. I don't have a lot of tolerance for dumb-assery. I don't get the whole winking at me from a million miles away. I have trouble dating people more than an hour away. My ultimate goal is to have a real relationship, not a pretend internet boyfriend that may or may not actually be a pimply faced teenager. That "friends with benefits" business, yeah well, I'm not the HR department. I'm sooo not a country girl. I hate most country music. I'm allergic to horses and I don't know any line dances. Wranglers and cowboy hats just aren't my thing. I sleep in a tiny little corner on the edge of my king sized bed. I sleep on my tummy. I don't snore. Sadly every single word of this is true. Just so you can't say that I didn't say anything positive, I have really cute feet. I would post a picture of them just to prove it, but you know some guys get all pervy on here. Speaking of pervy, I will NOT send you pictures of my boobs and if I want pictures of your junk I will ask. K Thanks. I could go on, but lucky for you I have to pee.

Her interests

Camping , Coffee and conversation , Dining out , Movies/Videos , Music and concerts , Exploring new areas , Nightclubs/Dancing , Shopping/Antiques , Watching sports , Wine tasting

Sports & exercise

Baseball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Dancing, Football, Inline skating, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines


I don't exercise regularly.


Sign

Leo

Pets

I like Dogs

I'm allergic to animals, especially farm animals and cats (no chance of becoming a crazy cat lady here). But hey, breathing is overrated anyway. Whats a little anaphylaxis? Nothing that an epi pen won't cure. You know CPR right?

Favorite hot spots

I used to live in Palm Desert, Ca. That place is hot. Hot tubs are hot, I like them. Saunas are hot, but I don't like them. I get pretty excited when I go to Target or Taco Bell, but my favorite place ever in the whole wide world is...my bed!

College

Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College, Baton Rouge, LA

Favorite things

Seat warmers in winter. Thunderstorms. Scary movies. Forehead kisses. Disneyworld. Good pillows. Jeeps. The smell of suntan lotion. Candle lit bubble baths. Green lights. Campfires. Road trip candy. No homework nights. Middle school football games.

For fun

What do I do for fun? I check out match profiles of course. Don't you? Having fun yet?

Last read

I read hot romances (so much more exciting than my life) suspense (I like to be scared), true crime (facinating) and bad Match profiles (some are so bad), but really, I think the last thing I read was Green Eggs and Ham.

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More about her Create a profile to see what you share in common »

  Her What she is looking for
Appearance
Height: 5'1" (154cms) 5'9" (175cms) to 6'2" (187cms)
Body type: About average Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes: Blue Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair: Blonde Auburn / Red, Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Salt and pepper, Dark blonde, Bald
Lifestyle
Smoke: No Way No Way
Drink: Social Drinker Never, Social Drinker
Occupation: Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness No preference
Income: I'll tell you later No preference
Relationship: Divorced Never Married, Widow / Widower, Divorced
Have kids: Yes, and they live at home (3) Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Wants kids: I'll tell you later Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Background
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian No preference
Faith: I'll tell you later No preference
Religious Attitude: I'll tell you later No preference
Languages: English English
Education: Bachelors degree Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral
GEAUX TIGERS!
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