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Rev Up Your Love Life With These Tips!


45 year old woman | Oceanside, OR, USA | Seeking men 38-48 within 50 miles of Elkridge, MD

Forward her profile.

  • About
  • Photos 7

Her details

Have kids:
Yes, and they live at home (1)
Wants kids:
No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
White / Caucasian
Body type:
5'8" (172cms)
Spiritual but not religious
No Way
Social Drinker
Not officially "here" any longer. Check out my Last Read section to say hi.

In her own words

Well, I've been on here for awhile, and really haven't had much luck, so I've decided not to continue my membership for now. I am not a Nigerian scammer, or someone from a third world country looking for an American husband - I'm just tired of throwing away money that could be better spent on something batteries. Or chocolate. I am, however, still looking for my match. If you're clever, there are ways to reach me, especially if you check out my "Last Read" section. (And if you are truly my match, you *will* be clever. Smart is sexy!) OH YEAH - and if you know how to do an image search, do that with my main profile pic - the headshot of me in the blue shirt.... ALERT ** ALERT ** ALERT : I've just moved to Oregon! ABOUT ME: I need to get laid. There. Do I have your attention? Great! Now, before you get too excited, this is in no way an invitation for every testosterone-laden, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing Neanderthal within a 50 mile radius to send me pictures of his engorged member. I am not some brainless bimbo unworthy of your respect and courtesy. I am not easy. Most importantly, I’m not *just* looking to get laid. I want the whole shebang. (Yes, the word “bang” is in there. Calm down.) I want a man who will be the Mulder to my Scully…the Rick to my Lori…the Brad to my Angelina…the Christian to my Anastasia…the Kermit to my Miss Piggy…the Fred to my Wilma (holy crap, who knew her maiden name was Slaghoople???!!!???)…the Bert to my Ernie…um…I mean the Ernie to my Bert…ok, that last one doesn’t work, but anyway, I’m sure you get the idea. I want it all. Love, trust, honesty, respect, friendship, and frequent hot, sweaty, in-the-middle-of-the-living-room-floor-because-you-just-can’t-wait-until-you-get-to-the-bedroom sex. What? Yes, of course all with the same person. Geez. Now, I’m not an idiot. I realize that these things don’t happen overnight, and you have to kiss a few frogs before you find that proverbial prince. Don’t be afraid that I’m going to have towels monogrammed with our initials just because we have one great first date. That being said, however, if you aren’t at least open to and interested in finding that kind of a relationship with someone, thanks for stopping by, have a great day, click on over to the next profile. If what I described above *does* sound good to you, by all means, read on. I am a sarcastic smart-ass (are they the same thing?) 98.9% of the time. (If you do not like/get/appreciate sarcasm, you will want to strangle me within 20 minutes of meeting me. Since I would prefer non-strangulation, it’s probably best that you click the “back” button now.) I’m a little bit of a grammar/spelling nazi, so if you email or IM me and say something like, “Hi, how ru? Ur hot” I will probably ignore you. Unless I think you’re really hot, and then I might be willing to overlook your illiteracy, but if that’s the case, by God you’d better have nice teeth and all of your hair…or nice hair and all of your teeth. I’m rarely serious (if you haven’t figured that out by now, we have a problem…) and can find humor in almost any situation. I don’t do drama or games, and don’t have any crazy exes hanging around. If I don’t feel like you’re truly interested in getting to know more about me than my bra size, I will lose interest quickly. I will not chase after anyone who is not chasing after me, too. About you: You’re taller than me, have an athletic build (yes, I’m a hypocrite – I’m not going to apologize for liking what I like! But in my defense - I'm working on it! Lost 30 pounds so far, and I'm not done yet! I'd love a workout buddy!), and are clean-shaven. You’re smart, SINGLE, sexy as hell, and a bit of a smart-ass yourself. You don't smoke, and you DON'T DO DRUGS. Witty banter is what it’s all about – and if you’ve got it, I’ll be putty in your hands. You’re confident without being arrogant, direct without being pushy, and - you read this whole thing!

Her interests

Camping , Coffee and conversation , Dining out , Hobbies and crafts , Movies/Videos , Museums and art , Music and concerts , Exploring new areas , Nightclubs/Dancing , Playing cards , Travel/Sightseeing , Video games , Volunteering , Wine tasting

Sports & exercise

Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Swimming, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines

I exercise 5 or more times per week.




I have Cats

I like Dogs, Fish, Horses

I have 2 cats, and the only reason I have 2 of them is that they are sisters and I was guilt-tripped into taking both of them by my own evil sister. I am NOT like that crazy cat-lady youtube girl. I swear.

Political views

Some other viewpoint

Favorite hot spots

The family has a condo in Cape Canaveral, FL, and I like to try to get down there a few times a year. (So if you Florida boys see me checking out your profiles, that's why! Give me a reason to finally move down there! lol)


University of Maryland, College Park, College Park, MD

Favorite things

In no particular order: cadbury mini eggs, caffeine-free diet Dr. Pepper, my DVR, sudoku, my kindle, the Walking Dead, rollercoasters, kissing (if it's being done right!), Reese's peanut butter cups, music, the ocean, strawberry daiquiris, laughing.

For fun

I enjoy camping, bowling, playing pool, mini-golf, music, the beach, going to the movies, museums, exploring new places, traveling... Joined a gym last year, and I try to go 3-5 times a week. I'd love to have a workout buddy.

Last read

I like to read. A lot. Just take my name from up at the top and follow it with: do tword press do tc om (without so much space in between!) and you will find a way to send me something to read!

Communities Z Try a Community Search

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More about her Create a profile to see what you share in common »

  Her What she is looking for
Height: 5'8" (172cms) 5'10" (177cms) to 6'5" (195cms)
Body type: Curvy Slender, About average, Athletic and toned
Eyes: Green Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green, Hazel
Hair: Dark blonde Black, Light brown, Dark brown, Blonde, Dark blonde
Smoke: No Way No Way
Drink: Social Drinker Never, Social Drinker
Occupation: Administrative / Secretarial Administrative / Secretarial, Artistic / Creative / Performance, Executive / Management, Financial / Accounting / Real Estate, Labor / Construction, Legal, Medical / Dental / Veterinary / Fitness, Political / Govt / Civil Service / Military, Retail / Food services, Retired, Sales / Marketing, Self-Employed / Entrepreneur, Education / Teacher / Professor, Technical / Science / Computers / Engineering, Travel / Hospitality / Transportation, Other profession, Nonprofit / Volunteer / Activist, Law enforcement / Security / Military, Fashion / Model / Beauty, Architecture / Interior design
I am the Registrar at a Baltimore area college.
Income: $50,001 to $75,000 $50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+
Relationship: Divorced Never Married, Widow / Widower, Divorced
Have kids: Yes, and they live at home (1) Yes, and they sometimes live at home, No, Yes, and they live away from home, Yes, and they live at home
Wants kids: No, but it's OK if my partner has kids Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian White / Caucasian
Faith: Spiritual but not religious Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist / Taoist, Christian / Catholic, Christian / Protestant, Jewish, Spiritual but not religious, Other, Christian / Other
I recently visited the Vatican, and it didn't burst into flames, so that's something, right?
Languages: English English
Education: Some college Some college, Associates degree, Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral
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