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Rev Up Your Love Life With These Tips!


34 year old man | Chicago, IL, USA | Seeking women 21-121 within 1000 miles


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  • About
  • Photos 26

His details

Never Married
Have kids:
Wants kids:
Not sure
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
5'10" (177cms)
Spiritual but not religious
No Way
Social Drinker
I'm here for inspirational quotes and pictures of tigers.

In his own words

I'm fat. I'm balding. I really don't like dogs at all. All I want to do in life is sit around the TV and watch reruns of Dude, Where's My Car on TBS. I love the taste of lard. There is nothing better than not taking a shower for days and weeks at a time. Women love the smell of BO from what I hear. I look absolutely nothing like my pictures. They were taken years ago and I am only. My weekend was terrible, so don't even ask. I don't have a job. Do you have one? Fantastic! When can I move in? What?! And now, on to the profile. To help those that may be struggling with how to write a compelling and yet somewhat familiar profile, I have compiled your match template. Just copy and paste! - My friends would describe me as funny, laid back, friendly, and motivated. - I love my family and would do anything for them. - I enjoy going out and getting decked out, but I also love a night in with a bottle of wine and a movie. - I love sports. - I love to travel to (fill in the blanks) and am looking for that in return. - I love my friends and would do anything for them (see second dash about family.) - Looking for a motivated, career minded individual that will help our relationship grow. - I tend to be a very positive person. - You have your own friends but know that being together is very important. - Smiling - Laughing - Eating - Some other verbs that sound really fantastic As for pictures: - Marathon/Some sort of K (mandatory) - Bridesmaid (or maid of honor if you were so lucky) - Beach/Pool (hey, I like water too) - Night out with friends (not a stage 5, I swear! I have friends!!) - Skydiving - Funny glasses and/or fake mustache. If it is a real mustache, well done. - Tough Mudder or some sort of other mudder. And now, here are some things that you may or may not want to leave off of your profile. - People tell me I look like their dad. - I don't have a job, but I am currently looking. - There is nothing I wouldn't do for my 32 cats. - I am looking for a hot babe/chick/hottie/hard body. - My shirtless bathroom photos are recent. - I can send you more shirtless bathroom photos if you want. - ALL CAPS ARE PERFECT FOR GETTING MORE ATTENTION. PEOPLE REALLY LOVE IT!! - Stage 5 clinger? Ha! Way beyond that. - I'm sure we will get along as long as you pay for everything. - I really don't want to do much except "watch movies". - Marriage is very important to me. I am looking for that special someone in the next 2-3 months. - Looking for child-bearing hips. - My ex-girlfriends/boyfriends will tell you that I am a nice person. - Just because I am 55 and way out of your age range does not mean that I cannot send you creepy emails. - I don't understand why people get so upset at the fact that I curse more than a sailor. - I really don't want to be here/my friends made me do it/I am really skeptical of everything/please don't contact me And finally, these should never be allowed to be written (except for here): - I think you are babealicious. - I hate dogs. And I am pretty sure I hate cats, rabbits, gerbils, fish, or any marsupial too. - Forget about the date, let's just go to my place. - Where are you?!?!?! I have been texting and calling you all night!!!!!!! - Barefoot and pregnant is what the norm is anyway, right? - Chivalry sucks, bro! - Don't talk to me if you aren't a "10". - Make me a sandwich. So, are we a match? I don't think so, I know so. I am currently not wearing a shirt. And I am in front of my bathroom mirror/gym mirror/car/motorcycle/tiger. Your choice!

His interests

Alumni connections , Camping , Coffee and conversation , Business networking , Cooking , Dining out , Hobbies and crafts , Movies/Videos , Museums and art , Music and concerts , Exploring new areas , Nightclubs/Dancing , Playing cards , Playing sports , Political interests , Travel/Sightseeing , Video games , Volunteering , Watching sports , Wine tasting

Sports & exercise

Aerobics, Auto racing / Motorcross, Baseball, Basketball, Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Dancing, Football, Golf, Other types of exercise, Swimming, VolleyBall, Walking / Hiking, Weights / Machines

I exercise 5 or more times per week.




I like Dogs

I want to meet the people that have Exotic Pets. First, I don't even care what the pet is. Just the word "Exotic" gets me all hot and bothered. Considering there are some Exotic Fish, what do you do at that point? That would probably confuse people.

Political views


Favorite hot spots

In your presence. Oy! I will be here forever (seems like it at this point). Don't forget to tip your wait staff. Also, Thailand, Great Barrier Reef, live music venues, corn dog stands, alligator farms, Binny's, and the parking lot at Binny's.


Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI

Favorite things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things

For fun

Nothing. I gave up fun cold turkey over five years ago. Haven't had an ounce since then! However, if we are talking adventures, I would say sand volleyball, kayaking, camping, hiking, wine consumption, bike rides, and calling random dogs "Nibbles".

Last read

Those ads on the El. Did you know Montana was a state? I also tend to read the leftover RedEye sitting on bus seats. Were they used as napkins or protection from the bus seat? I don't ever want to know. I also listened to an audio book. That count?

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More about him Create a profile to see what you share in common »

  Him What he is looking for
Height: 5'10" (177cms) 3'0" (91cms) to 8'11" (271cms)
Body type: Athletic and toned Slender, About average, Curvy, Athletic and toned
Eyes: Blue No preference
Hair: Light brown No preference
Smoke: No Way No Way, Cigar aficionado
Drink: Social Drinker No preference
Occupation: Travel / Hospitality / Transportation No preference
Working on getting my GED. If only I could figure out what 8X8 is, I would be all set. In the meantime, I sell flowers on the street. I am also looking to get into a new career... perhaps selling fruit on the street? In my real job, I travel a lot!
Income: $100,001 to $150,000 No preference
Relationship: Never Married No preference
Have kids: No No
Wants kids: Not sure Not sure, Probably not, No, No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian No preference
First, why is there a box for this section? I am guessing it is probably if you select "Other" and do not want people thinking you are an alien or something like that. Speaking of aliens, if they have made contact, I bet a few of them are on match.
Faith: Spiritual but not religious No preference
I was really torn between No Answer, Buddhist / Taoist and Spiritual but not religious, but decided on the third choice because a lot of women have the same thing, and I want to up my "Mutual Match" %. Am I joking? Guess we will just have to meet!
Languages: English, German, Other No preference
Education: Bachelors degree No preference
I had the fortunate ability to study abroad in Bangkok, Thailand while at MSU. It was such an amazing experience with trips to Cambodia, Vietnam, China and Laos thrown in there. Also, I am on Level 1 of Rosetta Stone - Spanish . Adios! (see: Level 1)
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