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Rev Up Your Love Life With These Tips!


38 year old man | Dallas, TX, USA | Seeking women 18-121 within 25 miles

Active within 24 hours

Forward his profile.

  • About
  • Photos 4

His details

Have kids:
Wants kids:
White / Caucasian
Body type:
Athletic and toned
6'1" (185cms)
Christian / Other
No Way
Social Drinker

In his own words

Ever since I was a small child, I always pictured myself growing up and eventually joining an online dating site. Mainly looking for new, fun way to meet people. Moved here from the East coast after law school. Miss having big group of friends to do hoodrat stuff with. Enjoy grocery shopping, teeter-totters, reruns of Full House, and long walks on the treadmill. Other hobbies include yodeling and skinny-dipping. Once swam underwater for five miles to rescue a school of fish that caught on fire. Or, maybe it was orphans. Suffice it to say...I'm rather keen/splendid. Delight to behold. I have been known to eat food at least twice a day. Established a non-profit charity to educate blind mice on the dangers of mating while parallel parking. If you don't have at least one half-naked pic of yourself in the mirror, then we may not work out. Keepin it real! Attracted to confidence, intelligence, and a positive attitude. Bonus points if you have a sense of humor and are athletic. Not really into emailing back-and-forth 147 times about our favorite colors. Profiles sound the same. Tough to get a sense of chemistry by looking at glamour shots (...of your pets) and scenic vacation photos (...without you in them) and blurry, long-distance photos of groups of people...doing something...somewhere. If your closest friends and relatives cannot pick you out of a lineup (without the assistance of bloodhounds, DNA testing, and forensic evidence), then you may want to consider a different photo. Just saying. I get it. You love that photo...and the way your [insert: hair/eyes/smile/cleavage/outfit] glistened in the moonlight. You feel as though that particular angle/artsy/modeling sepia filter pic (of you in college...or second grade) reflects your personality and who you really are...on the inside...much better than your new haircut or the 250 pounds added by the camera in your more recent pics. Whatever. I'm down with the purple/pink hair. I'm cool with absolutely no hair. It's more about honesty than anything else. But, I digress. Enough serious talk. Hopefully, I have scared you away. If not, we may actually get along. Just kidding. Maybe. No, seriously. Really. Kind of. Sort of. But, only if you want to make out on the first date. In the backseat of my car. At my parent's house. Next Thursday. And, by "my car," I mean my friend's car...that I borrowed for our date...because I figured you wouldn't be quite as impressed by my car...or the fact I don't own a car. And, by "friend," I mean someone I don't know very well...yet...or may never have met. And, by "borrowed"...ok it's stolen. There. I said it. You happy now? Honesty is so liberating. Did I mention license "issue"? Long story. You will probably think it's hilarious. Ok...maybe not that funny. Or, not funny at all. And, kind of sad. You don't mind picking me up, right? And paying? I thought everyone knew "entreprenuer" was code for "between jobs." Well excuse me! Didn't realize there was a law that required me to mention the word "probation" in an online dating profile. And, how could I know we would drive through a school zone? If bartender hadn't overserved me, you never would have seen my ankle bracelet in the first place. My pics are all really recent and I'm totally honest about at least 37.5% or more or less of this stuff (except for any thinly-veiled jabs at bourgeois feudalism and the obvious jokes and all the flat out lies, of course). Or, I'm 5'5" and morbidly obese and voraciously lecherous. May even be known to wear a leopard print cape on occasion or a patch over one eye...or both eyes. But, not the pirate kind. More like the kind of patches worn by Swedish naval goats from time to time in the early 1830s during the Vietnam War in the Southern region of Ecuador. I walk with a limp...but it's a really cool limp...and it's only during the holidays.

His interests

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Favorite hot spots

Traveling anywhere/everywhere. Shopping/spa trips. NYC, LA, Vegas, etc. Tropical. Whatever. Usually hang out at soup kitchens, nudist leper colonies, BYOB veterinarian clinics and Eskimo bars.


Harvard University, Cambridge, MA

Favorite things

Sushi. Positive/happy people. Who needs negative people in their life complaining all the time or needs other people to take care of them, entertain them, and make them happy. Otters are cool! Balloon animals are also really important to me.

For fun

Usually up for anything. Always try to be positive, have fun, and make the best of things no matter where I am, who I am with, or what I am doing. In my spare time, I enjoy polluting the environment and running around in circles until I am dizzy.

Last read

The Bible. Usually manage to check out US Weekly in line at the grocery store. I read the microwave instructions on the back of a box of purple crayons last week. I sincerely believe that most medium-size farm animals are illiterate.

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More about him Create a profile to see what you share in common »

  Him What he is looking for
Height: 6'1" (185cms) 3'11" (119cms) to 8'0" (243cms)
Body type: Athletic and toned No preference
Eyes: Brown No preference
Hair: Light brown No preference
Smoke: No Way No preference
Drink: Social Drinker No preference
Occupation: Legal No preference
Attorney for large law firm. Love my job. Work hard/play hard. Considering quitting to become an astronaut or a NASCAR driver or a wet nurse. Plan to retire within the next 2.5 years to become a shepherd and tend to my flock of rare albino sheep.
Income: I'll tell you later No preference
Relationship: Divorced No preference
Have kids: No No preference
Wants kids: Definitely No preference
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian No preference
How many times do I have to say this? DO NOT EMAIL ME IF YOU ARE NOT IN MY SPECIFIED AGE RANGE. Also, pics are okay I guess (if you are into personal hygiene), but I prefer perverted emails or "winks" from random, old internet predators with no pics.
Faith: Christian / Other No preference
I am a Christian and my faith is important to me, but I do not impose my beliefs on others or believe that everyone needs to believe what I believe or practice the same religion. I do not believe in the tooth fairy, but the Easter bunny is nice.
Languages: I'll tell you later No preference
Education: Graduate degree No preference
Studied finance/accounting in undergrad. Went to Harvard Law School. Taking Spanish classes. Thinking about cooking or dance classes next. I also went to kindergarten and have a minor in apiculture. I can make cereal from scratch. How now brown cow?
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